All this year, Maryn has had little upsets at preschool with two of her little friends. She has come home quite frequently upset by some thing they've said to her or done. Mostly she gets her feelings hurt because they'll tell her that she's not their friend anymore.
When this happens, we talk about feelings and how we feel when people say mean things, and what we should do, and all the right ways to talk to others. So, for the past few months, Maryn's been trying to do her best. She'll come home and tell me that they said they weren't her friend anymore and she'll tell them that they are all friends at preschool. So I've been feeling like she's learned a lot this year.
Well, yesterday I was approached by one of the girl's grandma. She told me how her grand-daughter came home crying and so upset that Maryn said she wasn't her friend. Then, this morning, I was approached by the other girl's mother to tell me the same thing! I couldn't believe it! These girls have been talking like that all year, but the first time Maryn says it back, they get all upset!
I felt a little glad that Maryn stood up for herself, but at the same time, I had to remind her about what we've talked about. I tried to explain to both women that Maryn's been hearing those things all year. I apologized for what Maryn said to smooth things over. Now I'm caught between what I should have done. Should I have told the women earlier in the year about their girl's behavior? I didn't want to make a big deal out of 4 year-old's drama, but now I feel like they think Maryn is a brat. The women are asking the other mom's if they've heard about all the pre-school drama that's been happening and telling them about what Maryn said!! I'm seriously feeling like I'm in the Twilight Zone!
5 years ago
6 comments:
First of all, it has only just begun!!! Girls can be so mean to each other. This I'm not going to be your friend anymore stuff is still going on in the third grade and I have a feeling it goes on for a while. I know how frustrating it is when others think that their kids are perfect. They are ALL doing it and some mother's don't get it. Just keep talking to Maryn because unfortunately other adults are far too often too wrapped up to see their own kid's faults. Maddening I feel your pain! I have wanted to punch out quite a few moms myself!!
I hate to tell you this Jamie, but you're just getting started with the girl drama that will soon fill your life. Girls can be very unkind to each other. Not to be negitive, but it will only get worse. All you can do is what you've done. Try to teach your daughter to be kind in the face of it all. Set a good example etc. It's just hard to know what to do sometimes. Good luck!
Oh no! My baby girl is only 3... she hasn't experienced this yet. Not a fun thing to look forward to. Thanks for the good advice on dealing with it!
I help in Amy's class and hear this all the time. I do the same thing...I tell the girl saying it that we're all friends and that it's mean to say that. It's not only the girls either. I hope you feel happy with your choices. It sounds like you are doing the right thing.
Thanks for all of the encouragement and great advice. It's sad that it's not going to go away any time soon!
Yes, it starts early now with girls.
Don't worry about those ladies, they just have nothing better to do than to make drama over anything because their daughter or granddaughter can do no wrong. Instead of talking to you they should have talked to the teacher first and let her handle the situation. You handled the situation a lot better than they did.
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